Opening up

A while ago I went on a mission trip and when I came back I got super depressed because I realized a lot of things about myself that I didn’t know. I closed myself off to a lot of people and stopped talking to many of my friends. It was not my proudest moment. This all got to the point though that I was putting on a mask around everyone and I hated who I had become because I was just trying to be like everyone else and I was pushing away God and the people around me.

I finally went to a friend that I had grown very close to, I told him about what was happening and I poured out everything that I had shoved deep down inside myself. He told me to get help and he helped me get the courage to get that help. I ended up going to a pastor and then to my parents. It was really hard though cause they hadn’t noticed that I was hurting that much. I now go to a counselor and I have slowly started opening up to more and more people. My anxiety became excitement, I changed my perspective and I saw that what I went through was an opportunity to grow and to accept who I am.

I got involved at a different church and started meeting new people. I started stepping out of the box I put myself in. I chose to be a different person. I decided that the person I had become wasn’t who I wanted to be. I wanted to be an inspiration and someone for people to look up to. I wanted to wear my heart on my sleeve no matter what happened. I worked on myself all summer I pushed myself to say yes more. This last few months have been the most difficult yet most rewarding months ever. I have become a person that people look up to. I have said yes more. I have set a spiritual fire in my heart that has been burning hot. (Even if I have spent a lot of time watching Youtube and Netflix.)

11 Never let the fire in your heart go out. Keep it alive. Serve the Lord.
12 When you hope, be joyful. When you suffer, be patient. When you pray, be faithful.
13 Share with God’s people who are in need. Welcome others into your homes.
Romans 12:11-13
I’m so excited to see where God takes me and how he uses me to make him KNOWN. I’m not the same person I was a year ago I’m not even the same person I was yesterday. I’m changing every moment to become a better me and a better daughter, friend , sibling and servant. If you have lost the fire in your heart. If you have lost that connection with God please find it because his love will surround you and fill your heart.
Here as in Heaven
I heard this song at the camp I just went to and it has been stuck in my head if you haven’t heard it I highly suggest listening to it and let it really sink in. As the lyrics say “Spirit of God fall fresh on us, we need your presence” Every morning you should be waking up and asking God to fill you with his presence so you are able to go throughout the day and let his will be done.
I have found my peace within him and I believe it is because I have given him my everything. He has my depression he has my anxiety, he has everything and I he has brought me so much comfort and joy. I’m so thankful for everything and I have felt so much joy lately. My past is still a part of me but it isn’t who I am anymore and I’ m so proud to say that it is because of Jesus Christ that I’m saved and free to make mistakes because of his sacrifice.
If you have any questions or just need some prayer please comment down below.

If you want some good music to listen to check out Elevation music


O come to the Altar

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