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BEDIJ #31 The finale

How do I begin to wrap up this month long journey?

It was fun yet difficult to come up with something new and interesting everyday. If you look back at the older BEDIJ’s you can tell a couple of times I didn’t know what to do so I kept it short and simple. 

So what have I learned?-

  1. I am horrible at keeping up with my reading, the book I started I haven’t even gotten half way through. I don’t know why cause its a great book but I haven’t motivated myself to read it. 
  2. I can get things done if I put my mind to it. 
  3. Even when I’m having a horrible day there shouldn’t be any excuse why I can’t blog. 

These things aren’t huge but they are slowly changing how I see blogging and plans for the future.

Ukulele is so much fun and super simple to learn. I highly suggest learning it or at least some type of instrument. It boosts confidence and makes you feel epic especially when you’re able to bust out a specific song right away.

Things I’ve learned about myself-

  1. I’m really good at improv writing.
  2. I suck at posting on time, yes everything was posted in the same 4 hour radius but not at the same time. Especially this one 😛
  3. I like change, my friend cali boy said this to me a couple weeks ago. He said the way for him to be happy is for things to change. I realized I’m the same yet I’m confined to where my parents go till  I turn 18. So I change my room, my blog style, my routines and the friends I focus on. 
  4. I’m so clumsy I ran into at least 10 people today and tripped over my own feet more than I can count. 

These things keep me and my friends on our toes. I do the unexpected and enjoy people’s reactions as I grow as a person and drag them along with me. 

This movie is so good, I can’t get over the final performance. The whole thing is beautiful. You should watch it. 

I wil be back in a week to begin February and to lead the new generation of outlaws.

Peace out for now, 


BEDIJ · Uncategorized


Have you ever had one of those days were you struggle to get through everything and your automatic response to things is harsh and rude.  This happened to me today, I was fine up until I got home when I sat in my room trying to calm myself down because I felt a panic attack coming on when my sister came home and for some reason I snapped on her. It wasn’t bad just not nice. Through out the next hour as everyone was getting home I could feel the tension in home building. As we finished dinner my dad asked for a family meeting.

We all excepted him to yell at us and tell us to get our act together. But instead we played Uno and read my brother a bed time story as a family. We were all confused about what had just happened. Somehow my family had come together in the end and put aside what had happened

Tips on finding joy in everyday life:

In the end the best thing to do is put aside your differences and just talk without judgement. Ignore what society excepts you to do and just talk and put yourself in their shoes.

Your daily dose of me will come tomorrow in the final BEDIJ

I love you all,

Hailey XOXO

BEDIJ · Uncategorized

BEDIJ #29 

Today was super chill, I stayed home and did things around the house. At one point though I decided to rearrange my art on my walls. I decided to do this because realized this would most likely be the last time I would be able to since we are moving. I definitely haven’t finished but I’m enjoying having a small project.

Ever since I was little I loved moving things around in my room. I tried seeing how many different ways I could have it. I think it’s mainly because I love moving houses and when I get into a new one it has to be perfect but then I also love the atmosphere every new house brings with it. 

Tips on finding joy in every day life-

  • Sleep, but not to long or your mind will get used to it. Sleep is something I love and hate. I either don’t sleep for almost a week or am so tired that I sleep all day. It definitely improves my mood when I’m stressed though.

Your daily dose of me is some pictures-

I love you all,

Hailey XOXO 😘 

BEDIJ · Uncategorized


Today was really fun, I went to breakfast with my mom then went and saw the new movie hidden figures. This movie is quite amazing, I wanted to smack some sense into some of the people in the movie but in the end they kinda did it themselves.

I would love to be able to say that understand what they went through but I don’t I can only sympathize for them. When I was in The fourth grade I want to school with one of our foster kids should we share a room together so I have known her very well. Through the year this kid decided to call her dark chocolate because her skin tone. Let’s just say she stood up for yourself and we all got  taken to the principles. 

Funny thing about this whole story is that me and her became best friends with this boy. Even today she still talks to him. Just like in the movie you think these two people are going to be totally enemies but they end up respecting each other in the end. I’ll never forget the day that my sister decided to stand up for herself and show him a piece of her mind and how what he said wasn’t right. 

Tips for finding joy in every day life:

  • Stand up for yourself and for the people around you. No one deserves to be hurt or be pushed out based on anything. This will bring joy not just to yourself but to the people around you too.

Your daily dose of me today it is a link to a song I’ve been listening to-

A song you may have already listened to

I love you all, 

 Hailey XOXO 😘 

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Today was my first day back with my therapist, I’m super excited because I am back with my original one, which I love so much. As a teenage girl, it is always hard to know who you can trust with the thoughts going on in your head. Yes we trust are friends and family but sometimes we need to talk about the random things that we think about that are more personal. Like the things we think about throughout the day and the way, we are reacting to things.

As I sat in today’s session she began it with going over what I had talked about last time which was exactly more than a year ago today. I was so shocked with the changes in my attitude and my view on life. It was kinda scary to hear about how depressed I was and how dark my thoughts got. She kept saying how much I’ve changed since then and I am so excited because that means I am so much closer to overcoming that time in my life.

It’s strange how every day seems so normal and similar yet I have had a flip in the way I act and the way I think. This time last year I was suicidal and I judged the people around me so much to the point where I hated myself for that. Now I seriously love myself and how positive I’ve become and how all my little tricks on finding joy and happiness are paying off.

In three days I will be complete with BEDIJ, but this adventure will not stop. I can’t wait to see how much more I can improve this time next year.

My tip today is: surround yourself with positive people if you don’t have anyone super positive be that person. change the subject when it gets to negative and keeps your friends upbeat by showing them how much you love them and how much you support them and care about them.This has been my go-to thing for positivity, especially now because I realized this has become a habit and I do it all the time without realizing it.

I love you all,

Hailey XOXO

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BEDIJ #26 

Planning things is something I love to do. Ever since I was little I loved to plan stuff especially when it came to things to do outside of the house. Now that I’m in high school planning stuff has become 10 times harder. I was leadership last year at my school I got to help plan the prom which was so much fun, yet also really difficult. 

I’m not in leadership this year for reasons and also because it’s super hard to fit in my schedule. This week though I got the opportunity to talk to the leadership teacher about her plans for the prom. Which is nothing which made me kind of sad because I was super excited to hear about all her plans. 

As usual though I had to say something so I told her how last year we were getting ready to prep for prom really early in the semester. I also mentioned how they would need to find a new DJ since the one last year is an allowed back. I might’ve also mentioned that the theme of it would be super hard to come up with because The budget will most likely be very small. Which it will be this year because they haven’t raised any money for it.

It made me realize though that planning things is something that I love to do so much and I don’t think It will ever not be a part of my life style. Even when it comes to be a blog posts I plan them out I have ideas usually half way through the day  about what I’m gonna write about, And monthly themes planned out way ahead.

My plans are to start working around that and around things that I love. I want to find a job that can allow me to organize things and plan things. It’s not just because I love it I’m also good at it.  

My tip today on finding joy in every day life is:

to focus on what you love because if you love it it’ll be the perfect job for you and eyes ever multiple people say if you love job you’ll never have to do work a day in the life. (you still have to work but it won’t feel like it because you love it so much)

Today’s daily dose of me is and instrumental on the ukulele but I thought was really cool

I love you all,

Hailey XOXO  😘 

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We are so close to the end of BEDIJ I’m so proud.

Today was interesting I went to school hung out with friends. Then stayed after school to watch the 1994 version of the jungle book which literally connects with every single Disney movie. Then me and my friend, June bug and jelly went to Taco Bell and then to our church group. 

Which was super fun, the whole message was funny but had so much behind it. Like how we should willing to say yes to what God asks us to do. Which goes perfectly with what I named this blog for. The whole outlaws thing is stepping out of your comfort zone and being an outlaw in your community for Christ.

Your daily dose of me, today is the orgin story of my blog:

At the beginning of my blog I felt like every post had to be this amazing realization about my life but then I noticed the posts that people were liking were the ones that I was totally myself with and just talked about my life and what I’ve learned from different experiences. 

I never got criticism for my blogs but I also never really got a ton of feedback either which made it easy for me to just keep writing what I was interested in writing about. 

So next month I plan on going back to that and writing about experiences I’ve had as a Christian girl in high school who is constantly working on finding her place in the world. 

My tip today about finding joy in everyday life is- do what you love and dream big because God can fulfill this dreams. 

I love you all, 

Hailey XOXO 😘 

BEDIJ · Uncategorized


Today was a good day, I went to school I did my work. The my Grandma picked me up but I forgot my house key so we had to go by my moms work to get the garage door opener. Then I got home chilled with my little brother while he played Xbox, did my daily Yoga and took a nap because why not.

I would love to say my life is simple and perfect but it’s not I’m always struggling with being responsible for myself and for family. 

One thing I do know is I care about them so much and I don’t know what I would do without them. 

I know this is a short post but I love you all.

Hailey XOXO 😘 

BEDIJ · Uncategorized


A song -click here

This song is one of those songs that I lose myself in because I relate to it so much.

At points in my life I don’t recognize myself, I would shut off everything and feel paralyzed from myself. I would watch myself push friends and family away. No one around me noticed the change they thought I was just in a mood. 

This feeling wouldn’t leave till one day I looked back on who I was and who I had become. I blamed it on depression and anxiety. When the truth was it was me who had changed.


I had been cyber bullied for something I didn’t do so everyone was treating me like something that would break. I wanted my life to go back to normal, I wanted these emotions that I was feeling to go away so I would move on and when it didn’t I shut it all off. To be honest I don’t remember much from that part of my life only that my family thought I was being a brat and my friends just didn’t notice because I put on a mask.

I realize now the person I became was someone I never want to see again. Yet it’s still there and whenever I start caring to much I feel the temptation to shut off my emotions. Because when I care to much I get hurt. Like with the kid at my school who I dumped water on and the guy I had a huge crush who had no interest in me yet I cared about him. 

That part of my I’m working on accepting, so I can move on. 
So this is an apology to all the people I hurt from my friends that I pushed away to the family I ignored. Yes that was a couple year ago now but it is still something you were apart of. 

I love you all,

Hailey XOXO 😘 

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Korean barbecue what can I say… it’s expensive, limited on vegetarian options and messy. Today me and my family went out to try out some Korean barbecue for the first time. I had only seen pictures of it and wasn’t quite sure what to think about it at first.

As we began the adventure of Korean barbecue, we all decided to get all you can eat so that we would have a chance to try anything. First impression it was okay, I mainly ate shrimp, sweet potatoes frys and rice. The shrimp good but removing its shell was difficult for some reason. By the end of our dinner we all weren’t impressed, 

  • My dad was cooking everything for some reason, so he barely got to eat. He gave it a 3/10.
  • My mom have it a 6/10 she thought it was good but definitely more of a date night place.
  • My sister thought it was okay but the price was too high to make her want to go again. 5/10
  • I gave it a 5/10 because the flavor of everything wasn’t very good and they didn’t have a very good selection.

After that we all came home, played games,watched the princess diaries and had a delicious breakfast for dinner😋 

Tips on finding joy in every day life-

  • The beauty of having so many interests is that I always have something on my mind even if I’m just sitting around, and this is what helps me find joy in different situations even when the people around me aren’t enjoying themselves. I sometimes find my self day dreaming about the lives of the people around me even if it’s a random person in Starbucks.

Your daily dose of me today is a list I found on Pinterest with things to do when your bored.

I think it is very helpful😜

I love you all,

Hailey XOXO 😘