As glass shatters across the pavement, I see a bright flash of light. My body
lurches forward, seat belt tightening against my chest. The car starts to rock, my
mind knowing we are going to tip, I prepare myself as much as I can but there is not
much I can do. We start to roll, my head banging against the window, my neck
cracking and stomach turning. My neck hanging from the seat belt I can’t move I
am paralyzed. Not knowing what to do, I see flashing lights and hear sirens, I see a
face then black out.
I wake with a bright blinding light in my face and a nurse saying stay with me,
look at my face repeatedly, but I end up blacking out again. I wake up again with
pain all over my body, its cold and quiet except for the tapping of keys. I look over
and see the same nurse looking at a computer screen. I say hoarsely “wheres my
parents?” without looking over the nurse leaves the room. I am wondering what’s
going on and start to cry wishing that someone would talk to me.
Finally after a while of being ignored, the doctor comes in with my Aunt Lucy
“Hi, Gabbie how you feeling?”
“My head hurts” I moan
“Well, the doctor says that it should go away in a little bit, Gabbie I have to tell you
My aunt sniffles “ your dad is….Dead”
My eyes start to well with tears “and your mom has bad brain damage” she
finishes with her eyes full of tears too.
My head throbs I can’t speak, and I am crying none stop. “I was so close to him, what am I going to do?”
“We will wait a week or two while your mom heals, you will stay here Because you
have badly broken your leg.”
I just notice the cast on my leg, “I will visit as much as I can. We will get through
this together, OK?”
“OK” I sniffle
“You need to relax”
“How can after all that has happened?”
“Just try, please?”
“Fine” I say still crying. She comes over and hugs me.
“It will be OK” Crying herself, knowing it most likely won’t be.
Going To Canada
I wake up tears on my face, the alarm going off and a light coming through
the curtain. It has been a month since the accident, I am on crutches because I tore a
muscle in my leg that was really important. I get dressed and head towards my moms
room she is standing in her bathroom starring at herself, as I walk in she starts to
scream, I go to her and tell her to calm down. “My name is Gabbie, I am your
Daughter and your my mom” I say calmly “you have amnesia” she looks in the
mirror again and then it clicks.
“Hi, honey how are you?”
“I did it again didn’t I?” she asks
“Yep, you do it every morning”
“I am so sorry you have to deal with me, you better get to school or you will miss
the first day.” She smiles
“OK, I will see you later.”
“Oh, wait she says quickly “don’t forget to tell your teachers that you will only
be here for a month
“Oh, I didn’t tell you we are moving to Canada to live with your Uncle Tom.”
“You forgot to mention that part during dinner mom.”
“Well, I am sorry, that YOU were late getting home.” She practically yells
“Well, I got to go, BYE”
“We’re finishing this conversation when you get home” she yells. I head down
the stairs grab my lunch bag and head out. With tears in my eyes and the wind hitting
my face, my mind swarming with thoughts hoping that it was all just a dream, the
crash, my leg, my dad, and Canada. I rush to catch the bus but remember I was going
to walk to school with my friends. I head to my friends houses trying to stop crying. I
get to my three best friends Jennie, Morgan and Emil. As we walk I tell them what is
happening. They all feel bad for me and hope that it will get better, but I know it
wont, as I tell them I am moving they are now asking questions like why? were? with?
who? and how long?
By the time we got to school we were balling are eyes out and hugging
endlessly we end up staying together the whole day hoping it would get better.
The tape roller screeches as I close up another box, The now empty room
white as day. My eyes start to water, this has been going on for days nonstop. All
that’s left in the room is an old box spring mattress, my aunt has been helping out. I
have been searching websites on my laptop looking at Canadian trends, shops,
culture, and other things I have read that being prepared to move to a new place is
good, but every time I think about it I start to cry, my friends are so calm and kind. I
don’t get how there being so calm about it, maybe its because I am all stress no
fun. They tell me to loosen up and they will text me, skype me and write once I move
to Canada. Even seeing there faces on a small computer screen won’t be enough.
I miss my dad, my leg hurts more every day and my eyes are always red from
crying. I have a week till we move I don’t know what I am going to do My mind
not thinking. I do what I am told I feel like a robot taking commands from every
one, What is wrong with me? I can barley speak without crying I feel so alone.
I have three days till I have to go live with my uncle tom, he lives on the
border of Canada. We have moved to a hotel a mile away, while we finished packing
and cleaning. The house seems so bare with no pictures on the walls, it makes all the
feelings I have been hiding come out all at once I start crying and fall to my knees.
My friend Emil walk in the middle of my mid-life crisis.
“Hi, Gabbie, oh my gosh what’s wrong?” she runs over and gets on her knees to
and starts cradling me in her arms.
“I don’t know what I am going to do? I grew up here, why is this so hard?” I
mumble into her sleeve.
“I don’t know Gabbie but you will be OK”
“I am going to miss you, you are my best friend and I may never see you again”
Emil grabs something out of her pocket
“Here something for my best friend” she takes my hand and puts a small silver
chain in it.
“What’s this?” I ask
“It’s a necklace that you can put charms on and I want you to have it to
remember me and to remind you that we will always be here for you” she says with
tears in her eyes
“Thanks Emil I am going to miss you most of all” for the next hour we sit on the
floor crying and talking.
I was shaken awake as my Aunt says, “ Todays the day, the sun is shining
and you are getting out of here”
“Ya ya” I say sarcastically
“Get up, your plane leaves in three hours, you don’t wanna be late” she yells in
my face with a giant Cheshire cat grin on her face. We hear shrieking from the room
next door. We dash over to the other room, my mom is standing in the middle of the
room with a mirror in her hands. I go over and tell her that I am her daughter what
her my name and that her name was Lilly. Then it clicks and we are on with our day
We meet with family and friends for breakfast at the airport Mc Donald’s.
There are tears all around as are flight is finally called. We say are final good byes.
Me and my mom and aunt Lucy start to board the plane when my friends are
right at the entrance and embrace me in a giant bear hug I get soaked in tears from
them and some of my own. I get many going away present mostly soaps and candy.
We have one more bear hug then I get on the plane. I follow the Crowd to my seat
then sit and get comfortable.
From my window I can see all the people that I love watching us take off I
start to cry. A new life and a new adventure is waiting for me in Canada. I have a
sprite and a bag of nuts then watch my favorite movie and try to distract myself as
possible but it doesn’t last. Half way through the flight I am already looking at the
pictures I brought of my friends and family. I fall asleep on the plane hoping things
would get better but with my luck that won’t happen. We finally land in the middle
“What will I do?” I mumble under my breath.
A new beginning
“Unpacking boxes is what we do, we unpack boxes all day through!” my
mom cheers as we unpack all the boxes and put the things away this goes on for
about a week till all the boxes are unpacked. We each got are own room but we do
have to share a bathroom though.
My uncle tom has a son and two daughters, his sons name is Shawn and his
daughters are Elena and Lena. His daughters are always asking me questions and
Shawn has been pretending there is no Gabbie living at there house. My Aunt Lucy is
already repacking her things to head back home after helping us get settled.
School starts, it’s a month in and I am getting piled with work 7 periods, 7
teachers and 7 piles of homework. I message my friends once a day to keep in touch.
Emil is the only one who answers back. My mom freaks out Lena and Elena every
morning, I hope it gets better but with my luck it won’t.
My school experience is going OK I have no friends, no one talks to me, I am
on crutches in crowded halls and I am behind in school. I now really wish my other
friends would message me.
“Stop,” I yell repeatedly I get slammed into the lockers.
“Your so stupid, why would I stop you are wimp, with a dead daddy your such an
easy target” Shelly squawked in my face. Shelly is 200 pound of pure hatred. My
crutch is laying on the ground and I am sliding down the locker.
I have tried talking things out Didn’t work I ended up with a black eye. I tried
talking to an adult, she did not care. I got detention 10 times because of her.
I was walking home from detention one day when I noticed a girl crying
behind a tree in the park, I walked up to see what was going on. “what’s
“Everything!” the girl yelled not showing her face.
“Can I help you?” I ask, the girl looks up, it is Shelly… with tears streaming down
her face I’m shocked.
“Why would you now that you know who I am?”
“Do you need help,I can help get you home?” I ask worried
“NO!” she yells “Thats were this all started!”
“I cant go back, I wont go back” she mumbles over and over again.
I cant leave her here and I cant take her home. What do I do?
“Get up” I say
“Why?”she looks at me with her blood shot eyes
“we are gonna go to the coffee shop down the street. i’m gonna buy you a drink
and we are gonna sit and talk. Cause whatever is going on cant be good especially if
your on the ground crying.”
She stands up. “okay.”
We sit for hours talking she explains everything. She has been sexually abused
for almost her whole life. She lost her childhood and her family has no idea that it is
happening in the very house they sleep in. The pain in her eyes is the exact pain I felt
when my father died. She tells me that the reason she picked on me was cause that
she had so much anger towards him and knew she couldn’t take it out on him. We
went to her house, we sat down with her mom and talked. their were many tears. I
Left cause my mom needed me.
Shelly and I grew very close after that. She opened up slowly and I opened up
I to her. So in the end I was her victim, she was his and he was victimized with
sexual abuse. I know every things is going to turn out OK. Or at least I hope.
The kitchen is full of many people, sounds and smells. Lena and Elena are
chatting there heads of and Shawn is still not up and my mom is mopping around,
Uncle Tom is frying eggs and cooking pancakes. It’s Sunday the day is full of
“Hey gabbie we need to talk” my mom says
“OK” she grabs my hand and Tom follows us upstairs and we all sit down.
“Do you like it here?” my mom asks
“Yes, I do, Lena is like my best friend, Shawn like a big brother and Uncle
Tom reminds me of Dad, Why?”
“Because she went to the Doctor yesterday for a checkup and he told us about a
treatment for my brain damage” Uncle Tom says
“Why? Your brain problems are not serious it is just in the mornings” I say with a
worried look in my eyes
“Ya, but it is getting worse she said she can’t remember what she ate a few
minutes ago and she gets terrible head aches. So he told me this treatment could fix
everything and you guys could have a normal life but they haven’t tested it yet so
she would be a test subject. We would get a thousand dollars and she decided to do
it. she is going in for the treatment on Friday.” Tom said. “So your saying you could die from this? Your going to do this anyway. What if you die what will happen to me?” I ask as tears start to form in the corners of my eyes.
“You would live with your Uncle Tom and his family. You would have
Lena,Elena,Shawn and Uncle Tom, OK? Mom says worried
“No, I am not going to lose you too!” I yell in fury
“You won’t lose me I will always be in your heart”
“Do you know how cheesy that sounds you won’t be here you will be dead in a
hole, you should not except me to mourn for you this is all your decision” I yell
“It will be OK don’t be so mad”
“It wont be OK” the conversation ends and I storm out of as I walk away I start
cry regretting some of the things I had just said but to mad too care.
It’s surgery day I won’t talk to my mom, she will be going in to surgery in
an hour. I stand in the room playing with the chain that Emil gave me. I can’t
stand it, why does she have to do this it’s only once a day for 2 minutes. She does
not need surgery, I go up to her.
“I love you, I would hate for you to be mad at me as you go into surgery. I don’t
get it though, why do have to do this?”
I say almost in a whisper as she grabs my hand, “I don’t want to sleep at night not
knowing who I am, I miss making you breakfast before you even get up, your dad
would have wanted this ….. You are just like him, you are kind, caring and you hate
surgeries, even if I die I will always be with you.” She pulls her hand back leaving a
charm gold with pink flowers. “I love you too” she finishes. We sit in the dark
room with a small table light on and a clock ticking.
The doctor come in with a shot for my mom. Then takes her to prep for
surgery. My eyes well with tears, I can’t lose her I won’t lose her.
It’s an hour after they have taken her. Elena and Lena are holding my hands
and being really quiet, which is very odd. A nurse storms in “Are you Tom and
Gabby?” asking frantically.
“Yes,” we say in unison
“Your mom is loosing a lot of blood and we don’t know if she will make it.”
“What?” we yell
“Just stay here and stay calm” She says shaking
It will be “OK”
Tom grabs me, “She will be OK all we can do is pray”
“What is praying?” she asks questioningly, raising her eyebrows
“Prayer is when you ask God for something or Thank him, I will tell you more
about praying later, but for now lets pray”
“OK” I answer
“Dear Lord, Please help Gabby’s mom, right now let her heal and feel better. We
need you right now to help this family in time of need. Amen” Uncle Tom finishes.
We sit for a while and wait. While we wait Uncle Tom explains God, Jesus and the
bible. Some of it I don’t get it. It sounds like a fairy tale but it is interesting. My
mom is still in surgery. I’m still tearing up now and then when I remember what is
happening. The doctor walks in “She is stable, but is still under critical condition” the
doctor says in a very calm voice.
I am finally able to take a deep breath. We eat disgusting hospital food and head
back to the room to wait for mom. I am exhausted and take a short nap knowing
everything will hopefully be OK.
It has been officially five hours, when we see my mom on a bed being hauled
in seeming to be asleep. I start crying, The weight if finally lifted off my shoulders, The doctor comes in and says, “She will be OK, she just needs to rest.” We all nod
A couple months later she is perfect. Her eyes glowing with life again. We go
to church ever Sunday. I have the best three friends in the world. Lana, Elena and
Shawn. For the first time in months, I am happy and so is my mom. We all know
now that everything will be OK.